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Circuit Paul Ricard. 02 June 2020
December 09, 2000
Published on tags: Superleague
In reply to Dave Harland Of Team RaceBase (Or Team BasketCase as it should be known) No Sir, I was not invited to your Luncheon, but, I had it on good authority that your team indulged in such goings on and thought it my duty to inform the public of your carnal pursuits.

So, both of your drivers are clean cut chaps are they. I don't think so. Come On RaceBase wake-up and smell the coffee, although I cannot condone your off track escapades I do congratulate you on your on-track performance?to a degree (its about time you had a showing, but the luncheon must have repaid your Sponsors to an extent).

I was privileged to be a part of the Leagues first League Briefing last night and wow what a performance it was too. There were Team owners and drivers in conference over such important issues like 'If steering help is not banned next season I?m not playing' and Glenn Bowen expressing a wish to turn into Jennifer Aniston! I must tell you Glenn, the operation, it hurts I don't recommend it.

To top it all I can now divulge a new piece of F1 equipment to improve car handling! Wait for it! YES A MINCE BEEF STEERING MECHANISM, now there is a piece of formula one technology I must see (I wonder if Dave Harland could use one at RaceBase) GENTLEMEN!! LILY SAVAGE HAS BEEN MINCING WITH HER STEERING FOR YEARS so what's new in that. Now on the grid it will be one hand on the wheel and one hand on the hip with the make-up mirror on the side pod.

Far from popular belief I am not one for deliberately causing trouble for teams and drivers but, I have had a letter from my very good friend (and a close personal friend of Dan Lawrence) Mr Andreaos Stovoldos who, has assured me that all he wanted to do was help within the League and was turned down flat, Why, surely a free offer of help is not to be sniffed at?

I also have to report that a certain Team Owner has offered me a bribe to be nice about his team (he knows who he is) my answer to that is OK How Much!??

Well next stop Monaco The Land Of The Expense Account, The chosen abode for most of the grid, where you can rub shoulders with the rich and famous (if you have a few million quid in your back pocket) have a wander along the grid and speak to George Harrison who will be on a knifes edge trying to speak to you, and, Murray Walker on a scooter - now there?s a sight!! Martin Brundle attacking Bernie with his latest witticism and getting the cold shoulder from Mika, and, the whole world trembles under the cold stare from Mrs Hakkinen.

Dust off the race suits boys polish those helmets Good luck and remember?Keep it on the grey stuff

The Scrutineer

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